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  • 21.08.2017

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Features men can not resist
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21.08.2017

Features men can not resist

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You'd be surprised what the world of science has figured out when it comes to romance. One minute, science is launching Neil Armstrong across the void to walk on the moon. The next, it's telling you exactly how to land your fantasy date. Contrary to popular belief, love and attraction is less like a romance novel, and a whole lot more like a psychology journal. Here's what science says is working behind the scenes when Cupid's arrow strikes.


Your lips


Forget about flaunting your curves for a minute. Results from a study at Manchester University found that lips are a woman's most attractive physical attribute. When you think about how much ladies like Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson are lusted after, it's tough to argue against it. For extra credit, pink and red lipstick were found to hold a man's attention even longer. When in doubt, go red—it's a classic and it works.

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Strong eye contact


Forget that saying about the eyes being the window to the soul, because they're also the door to keeping a lover's attention. Turns out your pupils dilate a little more when you're attracted to someone. The kicker? People are apparently super attracted to dilated pupils. Lesson learned: never miss an opportunity to fixate your eyes at your intended bae.


Pearly whites

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Research suggests that straight, white teeth are more attractive, and it's safe to assume that most folks don't prefer yellow, rotting teeth. We shouldn't even have to tell you this, but brush, floss, and visit your dentist regularly. You'd be surprised how many people don't maintain dental hygiene. It's one of those subconscious signals of health and fertility that evolution so craftily tucked into our DNA to help us survive. Thanks, evolution — now pay for our Invisalign!


Smiling like an emoji


When we say smiling like an emoji, we're talking about the happy-face kind, not the inappropriate-but-well-timed eggplant. One study suggests that men are significantly more attracted to women who smile. It's not like you'll be reeling them in with a grimace.

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A higher-pitched voice



High-pitched voices are apparently sexier. Researchers suggest it's because higher voices suggest a smaller body size, which our society deems more attractive. We all know the truth: helium fetish. While we're on the topic, keep in mind that cigarettes won't help your cause as they have a tendency to deepen your voice (and yellow your teeth. And, you know, cause cancer).


The hips don't lie

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To make things more confusing, even though men appear to be attracted to smaller body types in the previous slide's study, apparently both Shakira and Sir Mix-a-Lot were also right. Researchers  found that men preferred larger hip-to-waist ratios than smaller ones. Call us crazy, but we've chosen to conclude that this means all body types are beautiful and attractive.


Make them see red


This study of color stereotypes included two photos of the exact same woman. She wore blue in one picture and red in the other, posing the same way in both. According to the results, the photo of the woman in red was rated as more attractive and sexually desirable. Furthermore, the men of the study indicated they would be more willing to date the scarlet-clad woman and even spend more money on her. Blue never stood a chance.

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The body language of attraction


If you're sitting at a bar, turn a little towards a guy you're interested in. Leaning in, tilting your head, and pointing your feet toward a person all subconsciously communicate interest and engagement. Blushing signals attraction and is the body's way of gaining the attention of the opposite sex. So if you're going out and planning to mingle, don't forget to put on a little blush before you go.


Facial symmetry

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What might be the most important feature, according to researchers, is something we can do very little about: facial symmetry. This is when the left side of your face looks exactly like the right side of your face and vice versa, with things matching up perfectly from one side to another. Most celebrities and models have strong, symmetrical faces. You can't really change your facial symmetry unless you go under the knife, and we don't suggest trying it. If you happen to be blessed with facial symmetry, thank your genes for the leg up. But if you don't, believe us, there are far more important things you can do to attract someone (see the next slide re: confidence).


Confidence is key


Attraction isn't all about appearances, so don't go thinking it's all about winning the genetic lottery — there are many things about your character that make you attractive. Confidence, for one, can vastly increase your sex appeal. Confident people are more apt to send off signals of interest. Send more signals out, and you'll get more signals back in return — just don't make it desperate. Even if you're not the hottest person in the room, having the mindset that you are happy with who you are can help make a better impression than a model with with low self-esteem.

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In the same vein, there are many other non-physical traits that are incredibly attractive. Read on to find out what you can do to attract your soul mate.


Self-awareness


Inscribed near the entrance of the venerated ancient Greek Oracle at Delphi, "Know thyself" continues to be good advice. Knowing yourself is the same idea as being self-aware, since it involves understanding your own personality and character.

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So what, exactly, is self-awareness? Psychologist Daniel Goleman, author of best-selling book Emotional Intelligence, proposed the most popular definition of self-awareness as "knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions," although it can also cover a broad range of things including your needs, desires, failings, habits, your likes and dislikes, preferences and non-negotiables, what makes you angry or defensive, and, conversely, what makes you happy. Basically, it encompasses all the things that help you answer the universal question of "Who am I?"


Being more self-aware can greatly improve self-confidence, since self-awareness enables us to clearly see our strengths and weaknesses — which allows us to devote more time and energy to doing what we're good at (and who doesn't like the warm fuzzies that come with kicking butt at something?). This, in turn, increases our overall sense of confidence (see: warm fuzzies).


Authenticity

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When a person is authentic, they're not afraid to be themselves. You can recognize authenticity, both in yourself and others, by traits such as having realistic perceptions of reality, being accepting of themselves and of other people, being thoughtful, having a non-hostile sense of humor, being able to express their emotions freely and clearly, being open to learning from their mistakes, and understanding their motivations.


Authenticity, self-awareness, and confidence are all closely linked, too. Chris Armstrong, a Certified Relationship Coach, told me that the combination of authenticity and vulnerability gives people the self-confidence to be open about who they are — and comfortable with who they're not. There are no pretenses with people like this, and when people are able to be genuine, it helps them build deeper, more meaningful connections with others.


When I spoke with Amanda Rose, a matchmaker and dating expert, she said that "there's something about a person's ability to be unfiltered and raw that creates connection, [and] when we feel more connected to someone, the attraction level rises." So go ahead and let your quirks show! They're endearing for those who know and love you, and your authenticity will be attractive to those who don't know you yet.

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Vulnerability

Being vulnerable entails allowing yourself to be seen in a way that makes you uncomfortable: weaknesses, flaws, insecurities, and all. When you're being vulnerable, you choose not to hide who you really are. The good and the bad, strong and weak… it's all out in the open. Being open, honest, and real, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, takes guts.


Even though vulnerability can feel incredibly risky, it can also be deeply rewarding. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist whose specialties include relationships and self-esteem, told me that vulnerability — and being open about one's flaws, idiosyncrasies, and weaknesses — makes a person more relatable and human, instead of coming across as too cold or too perfect.

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And, if you'll allow me to go full fangirl for a moment, University of Houston researcher Brene Brown has produced some amazing work on the benefits of vulnerability: "embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable," Brown wrote in her best-selling book Daring Greatly. And, if you want to feel really inspired to become more vulnerable, check out Brown's TED Talk on the Power of Vulnerability. It'll leave you feeling both verklempt and awestruck.

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